Week Three: ARRTI Activity Week
Butler and Maclean taught us about using cinematic techniques in our writing. As you look back over the pieces in our portfolio, you will practice these same effects in your own writing to begin shaping pieces to communicate the intention that you set for this class.
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Think of yourself, the narrator of your work, as the person at this window. The story you want to tell is outside that window. You as a character might also be a part of the story outside the window. The activities this week will work to help you open the curtains for the viewer to invite them to view the story outside the window as opposed to keeping them away from the window and pointing their focus toward the narrator instead.
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Positioning the Narrator
The trick with nonfiction -- and with any good writing, really -- is to give the reader a gift and then let the reader open that gift themselves. You don't want to hand the reader a gift, and then as they are shaking it, say, "It's a watch!" Let the reader open and experience the watch for themselves.
This week, we will practice letting the reader open the gift of your story without telling them what is in the box. Or, to think about your story in terms of the image above, you will work on inviting the reader to the window to see the scene with you rather than just standing at the window alone and telling them what is out the window while they look at you.
In A River Runs Through It, Norman Maclean narrates various scenes from a summer before the death of his brother, Paul. In doing so, we have two Normans: Norman, the Character who interacts with the people and places in the story, and Norman the Narrator, who turns our attention to or away from places or people and provides commentary on what is happening in the story.
Norman the Character is outside the window above, and Norman the Narrator is the person in the window above.
Here are some examples of where we are standing at the window beside a silent Narrator Norman to watch Norman the Character:
This week, we will practice letting the reader open the gift of your story without telling them what is in the box. Or, to think about your story in terms of the image above, you will work on inviting the reader to the window to see the scene with you rather than just standing at the window alone and telling them what is out the window while they look at you.
In A River Runs Through It, Norman Maclean narrates various scenes from a summer before the death of his brother, Paul. In doing so, we have two Normans: Norman, the Character who interacts with the people and places in the story, and Norman the Narrator, who turns our attention to or away from places or people and provides commentary on what is happening in the story.
Norman the Character is outside the window above, and Norman the Narrator is the person in the window above.
Here are some examples of where we are standing at the window beside a silent Narrator Norman to watch Norman the Character:
"Buster hasn't any money anymore," she [Old Rawhide] said. "He needs your help."
Paul said to me, "Help him."
I asked, "How much money does he need?"
"We don't want your money," she said, "We want to go fishing with you."
She was drinking pink whiskey out of a pink paper cup. I went over to the car and asked the window next to the driver's seat, "Do you want to go fishing?"
Clearly, he had memorized a line in case he could not hear. He said, "I would like to go fishing with you and Paul."
I told him, "It's too hot to go fishing right now." The dust was still drifting through the woods from the gravel turnoff to our lane.
He repeated, "I would like to go fishing with you and Paul."
Paul said, "Let's go."
I said to Paul, "Let's all get in our car, and I'll drive."
Paul said, "I'll drive," and I said, "OK." (pp. 53-54)
Above, we see the scene cinematically, the camera cutting from one character to the other. The narrator at the window is silent, just letting us watch the scene outside of the window as it develops. The scene develops at normal speed, narrated as it happens, and the camera is moving between close ups of the characters.
Now, let's see a passage where Narrator Norman turns the reader's attention to the person at the window and then back to Norman the Character:
Now, let's see a passage where Narrator Norman turns the reader's attention to the person at the window and then back to Norman the Character:
That's how you know when you have thought too much--when you become a dialogue between You'll probably lose and You're sure to lose. But I didn't entirely quit thinking, although I did switch subjects. It is not in the book, yet it is human enough to spend a moment before casting in trying to imagine what the fish is thinking, even if one of its eggs is as big as its brain and even if, when you swim underwater, it is hard to imagine that a fish has anything to think about. Still, I could never be talked into believing that all a fish knows is hunger and fear. I have tried to feel nothing but hunger and fear and don't see how a fish could ever grow to six inches if that were all he ever felt. In fact, I go so far sometimes as to imagine that a fish thinks pretty thoughts. Before I made the cast, I imagined the fish with the black back lying cool in the carbonated water full of bubbles from the waterfalls. He was looking downriver and watching the foam with food in it backing upstream like a floating cafeteria coming to wait on its customers. And he probably was imagining that the speckled foam was eggnog with nutmeg sprinkled on it, and, when the whites of eggs separated and he saw what was on shore, he probably said to himself, "What a lucky son of a bitch I am that this guy and not his brother is about to fish this hole."
I thought all these thoughts and some besides that proved of no value, and then I cast and I caught him. (pp. 18-19)
In the passage above, Narrator Norman at the window is telling the reader what Character Norman was thinking (the cinematic equivalent of voice-over) as the reader and Narrator Norman watch Character Norman fishing. In other words, the narrator turns the reader's focus to the narrator talking, and then the narrator turns the reader's focus back to the fisherman as he catches the fish.
The narrator's interior monologue slows the pace of the narration, moving to what the character is thinking to INTENTIONALLY represent the fishing time between cast and catch. The monologue also helps the reader to think about a particular space in the scene that we can't necessarily see from the window: the space under the water. True, that space is all imagined in the narrator's consciousness, complete with anthropomorphic fish. But the effect both 1) sets up Norman's character as a thoughtful and reflective person and 2) helps to slow down the time between cast and catch and keep a pace for the reader that mimics the real and often actionless lapses that occur on fishing trips (booorrrinnngggg).
In the second scene above, the narrator's monologue also cinematically zooms our attention in on the fish themselves. Our mental camera is shifted from Norman the Character to the fish that he is imagining. So, we also are experiencing close-ups of imagined fish moving in the stream. Narrator Norman doesn't just TELL us what the fish might feel, but he SHOWS us what they are feeling (and thinking). The narrator is still present thorugh "I" language (I have tried, I go so far, I imagine, I made...). But he does so with the intention of explaining the character's thoughts, and thus still keeps our attention focused on the scene (he doesn't zoom off to explain something that happened before or after what is going on at this spot in the river).
This example demonstrates how the elements of time and space work together with detail to create rich scenes and characters, as well as giving examples of narrative position.
As a writer of nonfiction, your reader will be quickly bored if you keep the narrative focus on yourself and explain the reasoning and detail of everything that happens as it is happening. Your reader will want to watch the scenes unfolding out the window, and will only need their attention directed to the narrator when details that the narrator provides either 1) manipulate the narrative speed of the story or 2) provide details that are ESSENTIAL to understanding the scene that is taking place.
As you re-read your work, every time you see an "I," think about whether that is pulling the reader's attention away from the scene out the window and toward the narrator. Can the information in that passage be better communicated through showing yourself as a character rather than yourself as a narrator? Are the "I" passages summarizing or telling the narrator what they should be experiencing? Are you telling the reader what's in the package instead of letting them open the package?
And if you are not a part of the scene you are describing, when are you focused on details that tell us what is happening rather than details that SHOW us what is happening (when are you using summary to move too quickly through vital information instead of developing scenes that show that vital information to allow the reader to understand your intention for themselves)?
The activities described below will help you set your intention and then write purposely to develop that intention.
The narrator's interior monologue slows the pace of the narration, moving to what the character is thinking to INTENTIONALLY represent the fishing time between cast and catch. The monologue also helps the reader to think about a particular space in the scene that we can't necessarily see from the window: the space under the water. True, that space is all imagined in the narrator's consciousness, complete with anthropomorphic fish. But the effect both 1) sets up Norman's character as a thoughtful and reflective person and 2) helps to slow down the time between cast and catch and keep a pace for the reader that mimics the real and often actionless lapses that occur on fishing trips (booorrrinnngggg).
In the second scene above, the narrator's monologue also cinematically zooms our attention in on the fish themselves. Our mental camera is shifted from Norman the Character to the fish that he is imagining. So, we also are experiencing close-ups of imagined fish moving in the stream. Narrator Norman doesn't just TELL us what the fish might feel, but he SHOWS us what they are feeling (and thinking). The narrator is still present thorugh "I" language (I have tried, I go so far, I imagine, I made...). But he does so with the intention of explaining the character's thoughts, and thus still keeps our attention focused on the scene (he doesn't zoom off to explain something that happened before or after what is going on at this spot in the river).
This example demonstrates how the elements of time and space work together with detail to create rich scenes and characters, as well as giving examples of narrative position.
As a writer of nonfiction, your reader will be quickly bored if you keep the narrative focus on yourself and explain the reasoning and detail of everything that happens as it is happening. Your reader will want to watch the scenes unfolding out the window, and will only need their attention directed to the narrator when details that the narrator provides either 1) manipulate the narrative speed of the story or 2) provide details that are ESSENTIAL to understanding the scene that is taking place.
As you re-read your work, every time you see an "I," think about whether that is pulling the reader's attention away from the scene out the window and toward the narrator. Can the information in that passage be better communicated through showing yourself as a character rather than yourself as a narrator? Are the "I" passages summarizing or telling the narrator what they should be experiencing? Are you telling the reader what's in the package instead of letting them open the package?
And if you are not a part of the scene you are describing, when are you focused on details that tell us what is happening rather than details that SHOW us what is happening (when are you using summary to move too quickly through vital information instead of developing scenes that show that vital information to allow the reader to understand your intention for themselves)?
The activities described below will help you set your intention and then write purposely to develop that intention.
3.0 Work in Progress Activity: Organize Your Work and Find Your Intention
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In your portfolio, you reviewed the nonfiction work you have written so far, identified some strengths and weaknesses, and indicated what you would like to work on this term.
This week, return to that work, sift through it, and put it in an order that you will use to start shaping shorter pieces into longer works. You might select only two pieces that you will develop in more detail. Or you might combine two or three works in order along the lines of a single topic/theme. Then, make a decision regarding what you would like to work on and write a single, short prospectus for your work in this class. The prospectus should indicate:
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3.1 Writing Activity #1
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After you have organized your work and set your intention, select a few passages to revise and/or add to to develop those sections/scenes for 1) time, 2) space and narrative position, and 3) character detail (as discussed in Cheney).
1) Time: Use the cinematic time concepts that Butler described in the Week Two reading to play with slowing down or speeding up motion for effect in a scene of your work. 2) Space and Narrative Position: Use the cinematic concepts that Butler described in Week Two to position your reader at a certain distance from your subject and use your "narrative voice...to adjust our view of the physical world you are creating" (pg. 66). In other words, pay attention to where your narrator turns the attention AWAY from the view out the window and TOWARD himself/herself. Turn the reader's attention with intention, and focus on keeping the reader's attention as much as possible on the scene and not the narrator. 3) Character Detail: Focus on creating characters, as Cheney describes, using details that both identify "anything unusual or distinct about the person or persons involved" but also "do not ignore what is ordinary and typical" (pg. 85). In particular, consider using representative details or scenes to describe your characters INSTEAD OF ADJECTIVES (think Old Rawhide pp. 31-32, or Neal pp. 29-30 or Paul pp. 5-9 in A River Runs Through It). Submit your writing activity in a single Google Doc, shared with me, and prefaced with a reflective description of what you did in particular to meet the goals above. Cut and paste the original text in first, then insert a page break and include the revision of the text. |